By popular demand...here is the transcript from an early show...everyone remember the JKLand Strike? Well if you werent there, now you can relive every glorious moment!
***JKLand News Hour***
Welcome to the special “FAN CRAZE” edition…and now…FANNY DISTURBERSHYT…
Hello JKLand and thanks for tuning into this special edition of JKLand Fan Craze…
Due to the recent strike threats from fans tired of hearing false promises, JKLand has been torn apart…and tonight…we follow the trail of rabid stans on a wild ride through the streets of JKLand’s Fan Craze neighbourhood, Stanville…and in the middle lives Jordan Knight himself…but I warn you… things seen and heard here tonight may offend some viewers…all children should leave the room…
We begin at the home of Stanville’s corner whore Ima Hussey who claims that she has slept with Jordan on 289 occasions…although she insists they were all freebies, our sources on the street have seen him paying her after a passionate night of monkey sex…we have been sent a photo by a fan referred to as “The Stannihilator” whose sole purpose is to forever banish JKLand of it’s gutter skanks…
Although prostitution is not illegal in JKLand, we had hoped that Jordan had better taste…he is seen in a recent issue of “JKLand Insider” with the whore in question…
This information is old news to JKLand viewers but we felt it necessary to remind JKLand’s citizens of the growing problem in their community…the problem is that Jordan is only one man…and although other celebrity pretty boys such as Clay Aiken and Joey McIntyre have tried their best to break through to the hearts of JKLand’s female citizens…it has been apparent from the beginning that the population of this growing community cannot seem to stay away…yes…some leave in attempt to regain some sense of normalcy…but then the twitching starts and they realize that their bodies can no longer breathe the air of their former existence…the air is different in JKLand…it is rare indeed…
For as long as we have been investigating JKLand, we have only begun to scratch the surface of this community and we have yet to figure out the reason behind the madness. Is it Mr. Knight’s tender love they can’t do without…is it his love of porkchops and the fact that he can’t avoid touching himself in public--perhaps it is that pair of lips that always seem to be attached to his ass…I for one don’t know…but I am not a fan…I merely report the madness to the people…
The producers decided to hire a special consulting journalist to aid me in aiding JKLand in finding the source of it’s king’s appeal…please help me welcome Likita Betterwet…
Likita are you there?
Si! Hola Fanny!
Likita…can you tell me where you are right now?
Ah…jes…I um….at da casa uv da seciest man in JKLand.
And who is that Likita?
Jes…it is me…I Like-eeta Better-wet. It is me. You are Fanny no?
Yes Likita I know it’s you…I am asking who’s house are you at?
Ohhhh…I so so sorry…verry verry sorry….me English not so good…I am at Jordun casa. He sleeping. Not know I here. Shhhhhhhhh…be verry quiet.
Likita are you actually inside Mr. Knight’s house?
Oh no…I em….ah….how do you say…in the behind of his house…
Likita…you are holding an umbrella…is it raining right now where you are?
Jes it rain but…verry nice…I like it in the behind…verry much…it verry nice…in the behind…
Ah…who am I to judge…moving on…
I understand there are some fans there with you?
Jes…many fans…and also Clay Aiken y Ruben Studdard…verry big man…it rain but he not mind in the behind…and many…what do you call—the stans? Yes many stans…and they like it in the behind too because….eh…when they see the Jordun they get very ecited…but ahh…Clay no like in the behind…too wet…
I uh…don’t really know what to say to that…continuing on…
Likita…what are the stans saying tonight…what is the atmosphere right now?
It very good…stans waiting for Jordan to wake up…see if he like it in the behind…with all the fans…maybe have a group hug…a lot of love between fans tonight…let us talk with stan…her name Biteme Spheres…Hello Biteme Spheres…how are you?
I am really pissed off right now…I came here looking for that Moka bitch who stole my man and I find out that she’s in Jordan’s house with both of them right now…she sent me a letter and said that they have regular threesomes…and I just don’t believe it…I think that bitch is lying…and when she steps out I’m going to kick her ghetto ass!
...
I’m sorry…we seemed to have lost the signal…Likita are you there? Can you hear me?
I here…I here…so so sorry…had to kick that white girl ass for what she say about my sistah! She no undastand how important Moka is to JKLand…Moka Queen…so is Avatani…and Foxxxy…and many more…they cool people here…they are implified you know…and only they know what it mean…to be truly implified…and I not supposed to say but they all in Jordun house right now having party in basement…he he he…stans no have to know…
Uh oh…me think I killed Biteme Spheres…that OK…now she dead bitch…she still bitch…see you in hell dead bitch!
OK well thank you Likita Betterwet for that…uh…interesting report?
You no want to see me with Ruben in the behind? He very big man…we have fun tonight in the behind…
No please…GOD NO…didn’t need that image in my head…I know what will be haunting my dreams tonight…
Thanks Likita…
OK…thank you…
That was…Likita Betterwet…reporting from Jordan Knight’s back yard…my God why can’t they hire people who speak English?
Well there you have it folks…that is the situation tonight in JKLand…tune in tomorrow night to our regularly scheduled broadcast…and don’t forget to tune in Thursday night as we report from the strike line…thanks for watching…I am Fanny Disturbershyt for JKLand News…have a good night…
----------------------------------------------------
Welcome to another special edition of JKLand News Fan Craze…and once again…FANNY DISTURBERSHYT…
Good evening ladies and gentleman of JKLand…thanks for tuning in…tonight we continue our coverage of the JKLand Strike…which is just hours away from commencing…
Last night we reported on an ongoing problem in JKLand…stanitis…it is not a rare disease in any way but some fans are indeed able to rise above it’s lowly wonder…how you may ask? We’ve invited a special guest who says she can answer this very question…everyone please welcome JKLander JdotRO with this “Inside Track” special strike report…hello Jdot, how are you?
Hey Fanny…what’s up pregnant dawg?
Well we were hoping that you could tell us Jdot…have you spoken with any fans since the rainy late night campout at Jordan’s last night?
Ha ha…yeah…actually we managed to convert a few stans lastnight…invited them in for the party that was going on in Jordan’s basement…Clay and Ruben were there too…
WOW! That must have been fun. Was that the first time you met Clay, the American Idol?
Ha ha…actually…Ruben is the American Idol, not Clay but yeah it was the first time I met him…he’s great…very funny guy…of course I was high as a kite but it was all good…
I understand someone else who joined the party was also very intoxicated.
Yeah…that correspondent you have, Likita…she got smashed!! She and Jordan ended up locked in the bathroom together for two hours…when we finally got the door open they were a little out of breath if ya know what I mean…Jordan told me he saw his reflection in the mirror and got really turned on and then Likita started complimenting him and he just went wild on her…apparently he likes girls with accents…his favourite is Australian but Oz was busy with some blonde dude so he took what he could get…
I see…I see…so this morning…after the party…what was the mood out on Jordan’s lawn…what was going on with the stans at that time?
Well as you know, they were there to protest the strike…they thought if they went straight to the source that they could stop the strike…but everyone in the house could have cared less…they were all about having fun with friends…strike or no strike, this group will always remain loyal to Jordan if only out of indifference…but the important thing to remember here is that most of these fans initially moved to JKLand to be close to Jordan…but friendships were made—bonds forged—and they will probably always stay in contact, with or without JKLand…
I see…and what about the Stans—the people protesting the strike? Do you think there is any hope that they will survive if indeed they close and lock the gates to JKLand? And what about the strikers? Are they signing their own eviction notices by going ahead with this strike?
You know Fanny…it’s difficult to say…the strikers have their cause—but so do the protesting stans…no one will deny either of them their right to free speech…I’m just not sure that what the stans are trying to do is nothing short of blowing smoke up asses that are already plugged with years of disdain…
Right…interesting…and what are your thoughts on the ties the stans claim hold them together in sisterhood?
You know Fanny…I’m not so sure…most of these girls have an unnatural obsession to this man…those girls you saw in his back yard lastnight have been there before…in fact…some live in those tents that we saw there…I’ve been here countless times and have been greeted by the sound of chanting form the yard…sometimes it gets so bad that Jordan wears earplugs…they think he’s ignoring him…but in reality he has the biggest stan headache known to man…they fail to realize what consequence their adolescent behavior has upon this normal human being…but in any case…it is possible that they only have this camaraderie because of Jordan…without him they may all go their separate ways and try to find someone else to take the place of their man…
I’m going to stop you there Jdot because there is another issue here that we haven’t touched on…we got a report this afternoon that the stans protesting the strike had set fire to the TV station where the sami soap, “Full Moon Nights” is filmed…simply because the show’s writer, producer, director and biggest star is the leader of the strike squad…is there any truth in this?
First of all Fanny let me explain something about “Full Moon Nights”…this is not just a soap opera…this is actually a reality series that portrays many citizens here in JKLand…I myself gained a position at the show to report the goings on within the circle of characters…although some scenes are written for dramatic effect to keep viewers from getting bored, most of what goes on is real…there are no scripts…
I see…very interesting…
As for the rumor about the fire…I haven’t heard anything…but the show was halted today due to the strike threat…I can tell you that marielena has had several death threats from a rabid stan…she was sent a letter just this afternoon that read, “IF THE SHOE FITS” We’re not entirely sure what it means but JKLand Police are looking into it…but in all honesty the police here are not too swift on their feet…
So do you think that the strike will go on as scheduled?
Ha ha…yes…I think that the strikers will lock themselves out for the day…but with a thousand protestors and hundreds more that really don’t give a shit…I honestly can’t see how this will make a difference…but I also think it is a commendable act…they are standing up for what they believe…and as fans we have certain rights…I for one wish it hadn’t come to this but what can I do?
Well thank you so much Jdot for your insight on the strike…I hope to have you back again soon…
Hey…don’t mention it…and I may be around tomorrow if I don’t get mistaken for a scab and have the shyt kicked out of me…ha ha…
I’ll look forward to it…thanks again Jdot…
Thank you Fanny…
And that was Jdotro with the Inside Track…
Well here we are JKLanders…just hours away from an impending strike and one wonders how this is going to end…will the strikers make their mark and open the eyes—and ears—of a living legend? Or will their demands be drowned out by the cries of a growing Stan population? And what about those so high on that fence? They seem to be in the right place…but only time will tell if their fence will hold the weight of false promise…
Unfortunately that is all the time we have for tonight…we will keep you updated as events emerge…have a good night JKLand…I’m Fanny Disturbershyt for JKLand News…
***THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER SPECIAL EDITION OF THE JKLAND NEWS HOUR***
-----------------------------------------------------
Good evening JKLand and welcome to the JKLand News Hour…I’m Fanny Disturbershyt…
If you were looking for an update on the strike you have come to the wrong place…I showed up with my camera crew to capture the action as it unfolded but unfortunately I fell asleep…it was the single most lack-luster protest I have ever been to in my life…which—I suppose—was what the strikers wanted…but the question does remain…did the strike seek the attention of the JKLand Town Council? Only time will tell…and for now we can go on with our exciting lives here behind the proxy server of our precious JKLand…
Unfortunately we will have to do it without the sharp wit of JKLand’s resident soap queen…I am saddened to bring you the news that sami has locked herself out of JKLand for ever—sort of—well she may visit once a week…I can’t follow any of this anymore…and frankly I am a little angry at being mistaken by one of the strikers as a scab…how else was I supposed to report on the strike if I couldn’t pass the web-picket line? MORONS! Sorry…moving on…
IN other JKLand News…Jordan Knight has contacted the station and informed us that he will be posting some time this weekend…he said, and I quote, “It’s been too long…since I’ve had some…” I’m sure he’ll have no trouble…we’ll all be lined up waiting to give him whatever he wants…hope you heard the sarcasm…
Recent developments in a scandal involving the Implifiers have been brought to my attention by my stan snitch…the absence of such JKLanders such as Avatani and MokaRicanNYC have left lingering questions in the minds of chatters who rely on their reality driven wise words…I have only one thing to say to these MIA Implifying individuals…especially in this time of upheaval, “Where have you gone Avamokafoxxxy? JKLand turns it’s lonely eyes to you.”
Yes, JKLand is lost without the fresh realism that is so obviously absent when they are not here…the site is a snore without the Implifiers and anyone ever associated with these goddesses would never deny this…
But life goes on and all good things must come to an end…what goes up must come down…oh the days that are no more…and perhaps it was their absence that made yesterday’s strike so uneventful…nevertheless…they are missed…
And now…a special update on the American Idol Conspiracy…Clay Aiken fans now believe that RCA Records have purposely manufactured too few copies of Clay Aiken’s single to be released June 10th…and they have apparently brainwashed store owners into ordering the singles in small amounts or not at all to prove with lackluster sales that Ruben is the more popular idol…more on this as details emerge…
And straight from the headlines of “JKLand Examiner”…”FANS WITH FALSE NAMES”…
How many chatters do you know who have multiple names? Have you ever been chatting with someone who seemed oddly familiar but you couldn’t remember seeing the name before? We have been compiling a list of suspects who are being investigated for the offense of ‘Multiple Name Nonsense”
…these fans purposely register a new name to confuse the citizens of JKLand and to sometimes say things they wouldn’t normally say under their VIP names… normally we wouldn’t reveal names under this offense but we felt it our duty to inform you that you may be the victim of a hoodwinked scheme…study this list carefully and think about who are talking to next time you are sitting in the Chat Café…
1. andi
2. missylovesjk
3. Sarah-Joy
4. Stephie87
5. Danzh_love_jordan
6. Coffeepug
7. trayvilla
8. mrcaring18
9. Lily
10. jai0517
11. tedybear
12. Jordan_kay
13. kitkat
14. JKs_Destiny
15. NU IMAGE
16. JdotRO
17. sami
18. jk
There you have it folks…and if you have proof that any of these JKLand citizens have been abusing the rules or if you suspect any others that should be on this list please email me directly at Fanny_Disturbershyt@hotmail.com
Unfortunately that is all the news we have tonight…boredom has set in on JKLand…please tune in next time for a special show… “JKLand Gossip”…based on stories emailed to the station about other chatters…and if you have not already emailed your gossip to me, email it now to Fanny_Disturbershyt@hotmail.com (this is a real email)
Thanks for tuning in JKLand…I’m Fanny Disturbershyt for JKLand News…goodnight…
***JKLand News Hour***
Welcome to the special “FAN CRAZE” edition…and now…FANNY DISTURBERSHYT…
Hello JKLand and thanks for tuning into this special edition of JKLand Fan Craze…
Due to the recent strike threats from fans tired of hearing false promises, JKLand has been torn apart…and tonight…we follow the trail of rabid stans on a wild ride through the streets of JKLand’s Fan Craze neighbourhood, Stanville…and in the middle lives Jordan Knight himself…but I warn you… things seen and heard here tonight may offend some viewers…all children should leave the room…
We begin at the home of Stanville’s corner whore Ima Hussey who claims that she has slept with Jordan on 289 occasions…although she insists they were all freebies, our sources on the street have seen him paying her after a passionate night of monkey sex…we have been sent a photo by a fan referred to as “The Stannihilator” whose sole purpose is to forever banish JKLand of it’s gutter skanks…
Although prostitution is not illegal in JKLand, we had hoped that Jordan had better taste…he is seen in a recent issue of “JKLand Insider” with the whore in question…
This information is old news to JKLand viewers but we felt it necessary to remind JKLand’s citizens of the growing problem in their community…the problem is that Jordan is only one man…and although other celebrity pretty boys such as Clay Aiken and Joey McIntyre have tried their best to break through to the hearts of JKLand’s female citizens…it has been apparent from the beginning that the population of this growing community cannot seem to stay away…yes…some leave in attempt to regain some sense of normalcy…but then the twitching starts and they realize that their bodies can no longer breathe the air of their former existence…the air is different in JKLand…it is rare indeed…
For as long as we have been investigating JKLand, we have only begun to scratch the surface of this community and we have yet to figure out the reason behind the madness. Is it Mr. Knight’s tender love they can’t do without…is it his love of porkchops and the fact that he can’t avoid touching himself in public--perhaps it is that pair of lips that always seem to be attached to his ass…I for one don’t know…but I am not a fan…I merely report the madness to the people…
The producers decided to hire a special consulting journalist to aid me in aiding JKLand in finding the source of it’s king’s appeal…please help me welcome Likita Betterwet…
Likita are you there?
Si! Hola Fanny!
Likita…can you tell me where you are right now?
Ah…jes…I um….at da casa uv da seciest man in JKLand.
And who is that Likita?
Jes…it is me…I Like-eeta Better-wet. It is me. You are Fanny no?
Yes Likita I know it’s you…I am asking who’s house are you at?
Ohhhh…I so so sorry…verry verry sorry….me English not so good…I am at Jordun casa. He sleeping. Not know I here. Shhhhhhhhh…be verry quiet.
Likita are you actually inside Mr. Knight’s house?
Oh no…I em….ah….how do you say…in the behind of his house…
Likita…you are holding an umbrella…is it raining right now where you are?
Jes it rain but…verry nice…I like it in the behind…verry much…it verry nice…in the behind…
Ah…who am I to judge…moving on…
I understand there are some fans there with you?
Jes…many fans…and also Clay Aiken y Ruben Studdard…verry big man…it rain but he not mind in the behind…and many…what do you call—the stans? Yes many stans…and they like it in the behind too because….eh…when they see the Jordun they get very ecited…but ahh…Clay no like in the behind…too wet…
I uh…don’t really know what to say to that…continuing on…
Likita…what are the stans saying tonight…what is the atmosphere right now?
It very good…stans waiting for Jordan to wake up…see if he like it in the behind…with all the fans…maybe have a group hug…a lot of love between fans tonight…let us talk with stan…her name Biteme Spheres…Hello Biteme Spheres…how are you?
I am really pissed off right now…I came here looking for that Moka bitch who stole my man and I find out that she’s in Jordan’s house with both of them right now…she sent me a letter and said that they have regular threesomes…and I just don’t believe it…I think that bitch is lying…and when she steps out I’m going to kick her ghetto ass!
...
I’m sorry…we seemed to have lost the signal…Likita are you there? Can you hear me?
I here…I here…so so sorry…had to kick that white girl ass for what she say about my sistah! She no undastand how important Moka is to JKLand…Moka Queen…so is Avatani…and Foxxxy…and many more…they cool people here…they are implified you know…and only they know what it mean…to be truly implified…and I not supposed to say but they all in Jordun house right now having party in basement…he he he…stans no have to know…
Uh oh…me think I killed Biteme Spheres…that OK…now she dead bitch…she still bitch…see you in hell dead bitch!
OK well thank you Likita Betterwet for that…uh…interesting report?
You no want to see me with Ruben in the behind? He very big man…we have fun tonight in the behind…
No please…GOD NO…didn’t need that image in my head…I know what will be haunting my dreams tonight…
Thanks Likita…
OK…thank you…
That was…Likita Betterwet…reporting from Jordan Knight’s back yard…my God why can’t they hire people who speak English?
Well there you have it folks…that is the situation tonight in JKLand…tune in tomorrow night to our regularly scheduled broadcast…and don’t forget to tune in Thursday night as we report from the strike line…thanks for watching…I am Fanny Disturbershyt for JKLand News…have a good night…
----------------------------------------------------
Welcome to another special edition of JKLand News Fan Craze…and once again…FANNY DISTURBERSHYT…
Good evening ladies and gentleman of JKLand…thanks for tuning in…tonight we continue our coverage of the JKLand Strike…which is just hours away from commencing…
Last night we reported on an ongoing problem in JKLand…stanitis…it is not a rare disease in any way but some fans are indeed able to rise above it’s lowly wonder…how you may ask? We’ve invited a special guest who says she can answer this very question…everyone please welcome JKLander JdotRO with this “Inside Track” special strike report…hello Jdot, how are you?
Hey Fanny…what’s up pregnant dawg?
Well we were hoping that you could tell us Jdot…have you spoken with any fans since the rainy late night campout at Jordan’s last night?
Ha ha…yeah…actually we managed to convert a few stans lastnight…invited them in for the party that was going on in Jordan’s basement…Clay and Ruben were there too…
WOW! That must have been fun. Was that the first time you met Clay, the American Idol?
Ha ha…actually…Ruben is the American Idol, not Clay but yeah it was the first time I met him…he’s great…very funny guy…of course I was high as a kite but it was all good…
I understand someone else who joined the party was also very intoxicated.
Yeah…that correspondent you have, Likita…she got smashed!! She and Jordan ended up locked in the bathroom together for two hours…when we finally got the door open they were a little out of breath if ya know what I mean…Jordan told me he saw his reflection in the mirror and got really turned on and then Likita started complimenting him and he just went wild on her…apparently he likes girls with accents…his favourite is Australian but Oz was busy with some blonde dude so he took what he could get…
I see…I see…so this morning…after the party…what was the mood out on Jordan’s lawn…what was going on with the stans at that time?
Well as you know, they were there to protest the strike…they thought if they went straight to the source that they could stop the strike…but everyone in the house could have cared less…they were all about having fun with friends…strike or no strike, this group will always remain loyal to Jordan if only out of indifference…but the important thing to remember here is that most of these fans initially moved to JKLand to be close to Jordan…but friendships were made—bonds forged—and they will probably always stay in contact, with or without JKLand…
I see…and what about the Stans—the people protesting the strike? Do you think there is any hope that they will survive if indeed they close and lock the gates to JKLand? And what about the strikers? Are they signing their own eviction notices by going ahead with this strike?
You know Fanny…it’s difficult to say…the strikers have their cause—but so do the protesting stans…no one will deny either of them their right to free speech…I’m just not sure that what the stans are trying to do is nothing short of blowing smoke up asses that are already plugged with years of disdain…
Right…interesting…and what are your thoughts on the ties the stans claim hold them together in sisterhood?
You know Fanny…I’m not so sure…most of these girls have an unnatural obsession to this man…those girls you saw in his back yard lastnight have been there before…in fact…some live in those tents that we saw there…I’ve been here countless times and have been greeted by the sound of chanting form the yard…sometimes it gets so bad that Jordan wears earplugs…they think he’s ignoring him…but in reality he has the biggest stan headache known to man…they fail to realize what consequence their adolescent behavior has upon this normal human being…but in any case…it is possible that they only have this camaraderie because of Jordan…without him they may all go their separate ways and try to find someone else to take the place of their man…
I’m going to stop you there Jdot because there is another issue here that we haven’t touched on…we got a report this afternoon that the stans protesting the strike had set fire to the TV station where the sami soap, “Full Moon Nights” is filmed…simply because the show’s writer, producer, director and biggest star is the leader of the strike squad…is there any truth in this?
First of all Fanny let me explain something about “Full Moon Nights”…this is not just a soap opera…this is actually a reality series that portrays many citizens here in JKLand…I myself gained a position at the show to report the goings on within the circle of characters…although some scenes are written for dramatic effect to keep viewers from getting bored, most of what goes on is real…there are no scripts…
I see…very interesting…
As for the rumor about the fire…I haven’t heard anything…but the show was halted today due to the strike threat…I can tell you that marielena has had several death threats from a rabid stan…she was sent a letter just this afternoon that read, “IF THE SHOE FITS” We’re not entirely sure what it means but JKLand Police are looking into it…but in all honesty the police here are not too swift on their feet…
So do you think that the strike will go on as scheduled?
Ha ha…yes…I think that the strikers will lock themselves out for the day…but with a thousand protestors and hundreds more that really don’t give a shit…I honestly can’t see how this will make a difference…but I also think it is a commendable act…they are standing up for what they believe…and as fans we have certain rights…I for one wish it hadn’t come to this but what can I do?
Well thank you so much Jdot for your insight on the strike…I hope to have you back again soon…
Hey…don’t mention it…and I may be around tomorrow if I don’t get mistaken for a scab and have the shyt kicked out of me…ha ha…
I’ll look forward to it…thanks again Jdot…
Thank you Fanny…
And that was Jdotro with the Inside Track…
Well here we are JKLanders…just hours away from an impending strike and one wonders how this is going to end…will the strikers make their mark and open the eyes—and ears—of a living legend? Or will their demands be drowned out by the cries of a growing Stan population? And what about those so high on that fence? They seem to be in the right place…but only time will tell if their fence will hold the weight of false promise…
Unfortunately that is all the time we have for tonight…we will keep you updated as events emerge…have a good night JKLand…I’m Fanny Disturbershyt for JKLand News…
***THIS HAS BEEN ANOTHER SPECIAL EDITION OF THE JKLAND NEWS HOUR***
-----------------------------------------------------
Good evening JKLand and welcome to the JKLand News Hour…I’m Fanny Disturbershyt…
If you were looking for an update on the strike you have come to the wrong place…I showed up with my camera crew to capture the action as it unfolded but unfortunately I fell asleep…it was the single most lack-luster protest I have ever been to in my life…which—I suppose—was what the strikers wanted…but the question does remain…did the strike seek the attention of the JKLand Town Council? Only time will tell…and for now we can go on with our exciting lives here behind the proxy server of our precious JKLand…
Unfortunately we will have to do it without the sharp wit of JKLand’s resident soap queen…I am saddened to bring you the news that sami has locked herself out of JKLand for ever—sort of—well she may visit once a week…I can’t follow any of this anymore…and frankly I am a little angry at being mistaken by one of the strikers as a scab…how else was I supposed to report on the strike if I couldn’t pass the web-picket line? MORONS! Sorry…moving on…
IN other JKLand News…Jordan Knight has contacted the station and informed us that he will be posting some time this weekend…he said, and I quote, “It’s been too long…since I’ve had some…” I’m sure he’ll have no trouble…we’ll all be lined up waiting to give him whatever he wants…hope you heard the sarcasm…
Recent developments in a scandal involving the Implifiers have been brought to my attention by my stan snitch…the absence of such JKLanders such as Avatani and MokaRicanNYC have left lingering questions in the minds of chatters who rely on their reality driven wise words…I have only one thing to say to these MIA Implifying individuals…especially in this time of upheaval, “Where have you gone Avamokafoxxxy? JKLand turns it’s lonely eyes to you.”
Yes, JKLand is lost without the fresh realism that is so obviously absent when they are not here…the site is a snore without the Implifiers and anyone ever associated with these goddesses would never deny this…
But life goes on and all good things must come to an end…what goes up must come down…oh the days that are no more…and perhaps it was their absence that made yesterday’s strike so uneventful…nevertheless…they are missed…
And now…a special update on the American Idol Conspiracy…Clay Aiken fans now believe that RCA Records have purposely manufactured too few copies of Clay Aiken’s single to be released June 10th…and they have apparently brainwashed store owners into ordering the singles in small amounts or not at all to prove with lackluster sales that Ruben is the more popular idol…more on this as details emerge…
And straight from the headlines of “JKLand Examiner”…”FANS WITH FALSE NAMES”…
How many chatters do you know who have multiple names? Have you ever been chatting with someone who seemed oddly familiar but you couldn’t remember seeing the name before? We have been compiling a list of suspects who are being investigated for the offense of ‘Multiple Name Nonsense”
…these fans purposely register a new name to confuse the citizens of JKLand and to sometimes say things they wouldn’t normally say under their VIP names… normally we wouldn’t reveal names under this offense but we felt it our duty to inform you that you may be the victim of a hoodwinked scheme…study this list carefully and think about who are talking to next time you are sitting in the Chat Café…
1. andi
2. missylovesjk
3. Sarah-Joy
4. Stephie87
5. Danzh_love_jordan
6. Coffeepug
7. trayvilla
8. mrcaring18
9. Lily
10. jai0517
11. tedybear
12. Jordan_kay
13. kitkat
14. JKs_Destiny
15. NU IMAGE
16. JdotRO
17. sami
18. jk
There you have it folks…and if you have proof that any of these JKLand citizens have been abusing the rules or if you suspect any others that should be on this list please email me directly at Fanny_Disturbershyt@hotmail.com
Unfortunately that is all the news we have tonight…boredom has set in on JKLand…please tune in next time for a special show… “JKLand Gossip”…based on stories emailed to the station about other chatters…and if you have not already emailed your gossip to me, email it now to Fanny_Disturbershyt@hotmail.com (this is a real email)
Thanks for tuning in JKLand…I’m Fanny Disturbershyt for JKLand News…goodnight…
