Good morning JKLand and welcome to this New Year's edition of the JKLand Global News...I'm Fanny Disturbershyt...

It would seem that Jordan Knight's career is indeed headed for the shit pile. Recently, samples have been posted on the Empire Music Werks site, sampling Mr. Knight's tribute to the group that made him famous. In one word....horrendous...if this is indeed a tribute to NKOTB, Mr. Knight must think of them as a joke--a laughing stock. He apparently recorded the album after a night of drinking and toking...his voice is strained and some songs sound as though Chad had given him an atomic wedgie prior to recording them....

And worst news yet--it is rumored that JK has plans to release another remix album...this time in tribute to his favourite artists...the following is an excert from one of the songs that will appear on the album--don't worry--this isnot a sound sample...I wouldn't do that to my loyal viewers...

Baby Got Nuts

oh my God, Chad
look at his nuts
They look so rotten,
They look like one of those N’Sync guys nuts.
but u know who understands those guys
they only eat those nuts becuz they came from Saks 5th Ave
ok i mean those nuts...
They’re just so dry

I like mixed nuts and I cannot lie
other nut freaks can't deny
when a guy walks in with a can of mixed nuts
and a wheel of stinky cheese I get sprung
want to pull up tough
cuz u noticed those nuts were salted
Roasted in an oven in Boston
im hooked and I can't help watching
oh baby I want your nuts
I likem when they’re in my guts
my homeboys tryed 2 warn me
but those mixed nuts make me horny
ooooooo make me faint
When I see a peanut with a hat and cane
well use this clutz use me cuz u ain't that average can of nuts
I seen him shaking it
to hell with faking it
They salty
Don’t want no maltese
They got it going like a coffee bean
im tired of magazines
seenin dry nuts are the thing
cuz the average nut freak ask him why
His nuts can’t be dry
so fellas
YAH!
fellas
YAH!
cuz ur friends all got nuts
HELL YAH!
shake it
yah
shake it
yah
shake that can of Planters

baby got Nuts

baby got Nuts


I like them round and big
and when Im throwing a gig
I just can't help myself
I'm acting like an animal
now here's my scandal
I wanna get them home and
uh
double up
uh uh
I ain't talking bout playboy
those dry nuts are made for little boys
I want them real fresh and salty
so find that salty can
JK is a nut lovin man
so Im looking at commercials
knocking these Planters
u can keep those dry ones
I keep my nuts like wet-ones
a word to the fresh salted Planters
i wanna shake ya
i won't cuss or spit cha
i gotta be straight when I say
I wanna chew to the break of dawn
These nuts got it going on
nut haters won't like this song
cuz those punks like to chew and spit it
and I'd rather stay and play

so ladies
YAH!
ladies
YAH!
so u wanna sample my nuts?
Hell YAH!
so turn around
Shake em up
even nut haters got 2 shout


baby got Nuts

baby got Nuts


Fortunately that is as much as we are willing to report on this new album...I am now suffering from nut induced nightmares...

That is all the time we have for now JKLand...tune in next time to the JKLand Global News...I'm Fanny Disturbershyt...