Why let this die?

I figure I may as well continue to update it....sorta free advertising for the site I suppose...

There are videos listed on the archives page but you can find more at the site's video page as well as some other "weird" stuff...

http://www.jklandglobalnews.com/video.html

Working on new videos as I write this...

I feel SO honored....just found out that this little project in in the top 100 of the weird blogs category at Blogshares.com...check out the link...we are currently at #69... http://www.blogshares.com/industries.php?id=62

But...this blog is old news and we have our own website now and have for the past year...so please visit us beautiful bunch of shit disturbing bitches...you may not understand us but hey...you just might have a bit of fun ;)

http://www.jklandglobalnews.com

All the action happens on the message board so take a peek...

Hello JKLand!  Looks as though Jdot is here to stay...no word on the job so one can assume they didn't like her...lol
 
Donations are now being accepted through PayPal...at least I hope it will work...ya'll know how much luck I've had with shit in the past...if all goes according to plan...the site should be up and running with new reports and full features by Wednesday...possiblu sooner if I don't find a life before then...and chances of that happening are miniscule...
 
Thanks so much for those donating to Fanny's cause....I promise not to let you down!!!

I hate posting the new reports here...it's just not the same...this new one is called "The Doomed Princess"...hope you all enjoy it...all in all it took me a total of 20 (with the extras) or so hours...it's just over 28 minutes...but there is a couple of extra things on there that I was working on before...and since I may be leaving JKLand, I thought I'd include them for everyone...maybe someday I can complete them...
 
I have to work out an archives page at some point before I leave (if I leave--still no word)...just like to thank everyone for calling in today...spending your hard earned money on very long distance calls (Toots called me from France--Twice!) just to make Fanny's (and Fantina's) reports a little extra spicy...lol
 
A few of ya'll din't have time to call in--Foxxxy I just got your message...I'm going to try and do a followup report tomorrow night but I won't promise anything...and it won't be as long either...if anyone else would like to call in, if you don't have my number, leave me a message at jk.com and I will give it to you...
 
Talk to ya'll soon...hope you enjoy the report :)

Hey everyone...sorry for all the trouble...Tripod does not like me...so hopefully this one will not cause any problems...

And if I do move away...I can still do written Fanny reports...just like I used to...until I get my new computer....

Stay tuned for new reports...

Good evening JKLand and welcome to a long awaited edition of the JKLand News Hour....I’m Fanny Disturbershyt...

It would appear that not only is Mr. Jordan knight a washed up guinea pig, but he is also a liar. He has stated on numerous occasions that he would never do reality television because he is, and I quote, “Not a wash-out.” A humorous statement indeed, but what we must now ask ourselves is this? What has changed the mind of our favorite wash-out?

I have asked several of his fans this same question and their responses were not surprising...most believe that Mr. Knight was abducted by aliens and they forgot to remove the probe from his ass before returning him to earth. This is the most likely explanation to the recent shocks that have occurred on his once popular website, www.cleanmypipes.com OOPS! I mean www.jordanknight.com.

In an attempt to remove the wall built up between fan and aging pop star, the head fuck-wits...I mean honchos...thought it was a productive idea to remove all moderation form the site...this was of course, a decision made in the aftermath of what appears to be the epitome of stupid mistakes...take the moderator status away from long-standing semi-trusted mods and hand it over to the fans that would pay $70 a year to hoo and haw over a balding, middle-aged teen pop phenomena that has been making and breaking promises for the last two years...apparently there is nothing sacred left in JKLand...it means nothing to Jordan Knight that fans have ALREADY paid for a VIP membership that would supposedly last forever...only to have it ripped from their hands and forced to decide between spending $70 per year or walking away and never looking back...

I for one am appalled at the blatant disregard for the respect of the fans...legal questions have been asked as well as ethics questioned on the part of everyone involved in the surely to fail, doomed website...what more can the fans do to please Mr. Knight? Not everyone is willing to jump in the back seat of his jeep to polish his knob...perhaps that will be the requirement of the next level of membership. We have seen the rise and fall of the free fan membership...this was replaced with the purchase of a CD shaped coaster in order to gain VIP status...we have now been introduced to the VIP Gold memberships that cost you more than a Costco Membership...what will be next? VIP GIMME YOUR WALLET AND NOBODY WILL GET HURT!? VIP WHORES? VIP NUTFUCKS? VIP UP YOUR ASS? VIP SUCK THIS BITCH? It is anyone’s guess what will come next...



BREAKING NEWS! The results of a recent online fan poll have just been handed to me...

8% of Jordan Knight fans would rather see Jordan try out for “American Idol” so Simon can tell him he’s too fat to be a pop star.

14% would rather see Jordan take a bite out of a poisonous snake on the next “Survivor”only to realize that the snake in question was his own penis.

22% would like to see Jordan get locked in a room full of stans on “Fear Factor” just to hear his girlie scream.

And a whopping 56% say, “Yeah! We want Jordan to be on “The Surreal Life” so we can witness him passing gas, flirting with house mates and getting shot down on national television, crying when he realizes someone has eaten his leftover porkchops, and whack off when nobody’s home because he forgot there was a camera crew there.

Well there you have it folks...what more can I say? And since Jordan always gives his fans exactly what they want, you can be sure that this season of “The Surreal Life” will be a memorable one...

That’s all the time we have for tonight...for the JKLand News Hour...I’m Fanny Disturbershyt...thanks for watching

Good evening ladies and gents and welcome to a long awaited edition of the JKLand Global News...I'm Fanny Disturbershyt...

Tonight we will check in with a few fans who have been absent lately...it has been rumored that these fans have found someplace more fun than jk.com...we didn't think that place existed but it provides hard proof that life does in fact exist outside the site of the old kid...

But first I bring you our top story of the night...just a few hours ago (while Spain was still realing from a terrorist attack) the fans on jordanknight.com began a new war. This time however it was unclear as to what side most fans were on....the thin line between Implifier and Stan was snapped in half this afternon as people dared to have opinions about the not so much anymore famous former superstar...

We at the JKLand Global News were neither stunned or thrilled about the vicious attacks that lasted just over three hours. We were informed just fifteen minutes ago that the God himself...Jordan Knight...was in fact online at the time to witness the feud...

"I didn't know what was wrong with him," said a close friend of Mr. Knight, "he was sitting in front of his computer bawling like a baby...mouth wide open...drool pooling in his lap...it took me two hours before I could understand what he was blubbering about."

We contacted Mr. Knight and he agreed to a phone interview. Mr Knight can you hear me?

Uh huh......*sniffle* uhhh blubba blubba AHHHH (high pitched girlie sound)

Mr. Knight--I understand you watched the feud unfold...can you tell us what you were feeling at the time?

*sniffle slirp* I....I don't.....huh huh huh...aaaaaaaaalllllllagrrrrrrrrr....ahhhhhhh (soft girlie moans)

I see...ahem...are you OK Mr. Knight?

noooooo...not...huh huh huh....re...huh huh...eally.......

Are you upset because of this recent feud between your adoring fans?

*sniffle* well...I...I jus wanted them to all looooove me........huh huh huh...they think I'm FAT! blub blub huh huh huh....AHHHHHH (high pitched girlie sound) I don wanna talk anymore...huh huh huh...*click*

OK well we have lost Mr Knight...

Recent reports hint at a newfound unity between Stans and Implifiers...no wait...that would never happen...a new unity between Jordan and a bottle of valium...that's what it says...I think I need glasses...

Our "Inside Track" reporter Likita Betterwet interviewed several fans and Stans alike...let's see what she has to say...over to you Likita....




Hola Fanny!

Hi Likita...what is the atmosphere like where you are right now...

Been raining since shit hit fan...bout 10 this morning...raining hard now but I like it better wet...feels good no?

I wouldn't know Likita...I've been in the studio all afternoon....I don't really care about the weather...what are the general thoughts and feelings going through the heads of the fans this evening?

I hear some fans say Jordan should start porn career...then some fans throw up...then they threw up again...

Wow...interesting...do they know what started the feud?

Not really sure...but most blaming JdotRO...heard someone call her shit disturber fan...so I killed them...that bad Fanny?

No of course not Likita...JdotRO is allowed to say anything she wants...because she never disrespects anyone...

Oh...I do no know about that one Fanny...she swear a lot today...call people names...shit disturbing all over place today...

Well I find that hard to believe...but I suppose everone has their limits...even an angel like Jdot...tell me though...what did she say to create such turmoil amongst sisters?

She say something about concern for Jordan's crack...

I'm sorry? His what?

His crack problem...and his hoarse deep throat....not sure...some fans not speak berry good enrish...

Out of curiosity Likita...what nationality are you?

I am proud American! Yeah!

Of course how silly of me...well thank you Likita...let us know if you dig up anything else?

Jes of course Fanny...bye bye!

And that was Likita Betterwet with the "Inside Track"

In a related story...it took three hours for a moderator to delete the post that started all of the drama...it's too bad someone didn't hink to save the post before deletion ;)

And that's all the time we have tonight JKLand...tune in next time as we investigate the secret meeting place of the MIA fans...

For the JKLand Global News...I'm Fanny Disturbershyt and I'ma go get me some lubbin!