Good morning JKLand...and welcome to another edition of the JKLand News Hour....I'm Fanny Disturbershyt...
I am saddened to say that this report will be neither friendly or upbeat...the webite of the God Jordan Knight is in shambles and it is the opinion of many that the man who is reponsible for the comotion is a man by the name of Chad...which--spelled backwards means 'sore arse' in yiddish...oh wait...I'm sorry--my bad...that is the meaning of the name Nadroj (no offense by the fan of the same name)...but then again he should be used to that feeling by now...
It is in the opinion of most fans that Mr. Knight should hibernate from December 2nd to at least Valentine's Day...this appears to be the time that he get's himself into trouble. If he did take a break it's not as though he would be bored...he could amuse himself by playing with his giant man-titties (yes it's still funny to me) or he could spend time recording the imaginary album that will magically appear sometime in the next millienium (which is only 100 years in Jordan's world so it may come sooner than expected)...
In other news...fans have been turning on each other causing Jordan to lose more hair...oh wait...no that's just becasue he's getting old...or it could be the alcohol abuse...it's a toss-up...
And that leads to the next issue...any fans who think that Jordan Knight gives a shit about anything that goes on at that site needs to have another Coor's light and a slice of Pizza Hut pizza...he's probably sitting in front of his computer wondering why he keeps waking up in the morning with a sore arse...I doubt he logs in--sees fans fighting and says, "Whoa, that one puckered my butthole" (sorry--"Bad Boys II" moment)...
And it is the opinion of this journalist that the glory days of jk.com have come to an abrupt end...do we care? Can we live without the thing that keeps our nearly two decade old dreams alive? Will we never have the chance now to marry our one and only true love? Where the hell did that pedestal go? Why the hell did we ever think he could sit up there and not topple off like a drunk monkey trying to reach his banana....
Well...that's all the time I have for this morning...I wrote a previous report but some natural disaster that I have yet to determine--it was erased--and after much crying and moaning and banging of the head against the computer screen, I set to recreate it's glory...but it came out just shy of shitty...I appologise and bid you adieu...thanks for tuning in to the JKLand Global News...I'm Fanny Disturbershyt and I am outta here...
I am saddened to say that this report will be neither friendly or upbeat...the webite of the God Jordan Knight is in shambles and it is the opinion of many that the man who is reponsible for the comotion is a man by the name of Chad...which--spelled backwards means 'sore arse' in yiddish...oh wait...I'm sorry--my bad...that is the meaning of the name Nadroj (no offense by the fan of the same name)...but then again he should be used to that feeling by now...
It is in the opinion of most fans that Mr. Knight should hibernate from December 2nd to at least Valentine's Day...this appears to be the time that he get's himself into trouble. If he did take a break it's not as though he would be bored...he could amuse himself by playing with his giant man-titties (yes it's still funny to me) or he could spend time recording the imaginary album that will magically appear sometime in the next millienium (which is only 100 years in Jordan's world so it may come sooner than expected)...
In other news...fans have been turning on each other causing Jordan to lose more hair...oh wait...no that's just becasue he's getting old...or it could be the alcohol abuse...it's a toss-up...
And that leads to the next issue...any fans who think that Jordan Knight gives a shit about anything that goes on at that site needs to have another Coor's light and a slice of Pizza Hut pizza...he's probably sitting in front of his computer wondering why he keeps waking up in the morning with a sore arse...I doubt he logs in--sees fans fighting and says, "Whoa, that one puckered my butthole" (sorry--"Bad Boys II" moment)...
And it is the opinion of this journalist that the glory days of jk.com have come to an abrupt end...do we care? Can we live without the thing that keeps our nearly two decade old dreams alive? Will we never have the chance now to marry our one and only true love? Where the hell did that pedestal go? Why the hell did we ever think he could sit up there and not topple off like a drunk monkey trying to reach his banana....
Well...that's all the time I have for this morning...I wrote a previous report but some natural disaster that I have yet to determine--it was erased--and after much crying and moaning and banging of the head against the computer screen, I set to recreate it's glory...but it came out just shy of shitty...I appologise and bid you adieu...thanks for tuning in to the JKLand Global News...I'm Fanny Disturbershyt and I am outta here...
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